Bribery – The giving or offering of a bribe.
Reward – A thing given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement.
Another point to note is that a bribe is given BEFORE an event & a reward is given AFTER
With this in mind I eventually caved & started a rewards chart for Master 2 using the toilet about a month ago. He has been using it on & off for about a year now but always on his own terms which didn’t always coincide with when he actually needed to go! He knows what he’s doing; he knows when he needs to go, he knows when he’s had an accident, he knows how to use the toilet &best of all, he knows how to manipulate! Can you say C.O.N.T.R.O.L!?
Initially, we just went with the flow,no pressure but loads of song & dance(literally) when he did use the potty or toilet. He loved all the attention but it proved not to be strong enough motivation for him to be really keen to learn. He would go weeks at a time not showing any interest & then get us all excited by going for a day or 2. And then nothing!
Until he spied Hubby STANDING to do his business (we’re talking no. 1s here people) & suddenly his interest was peaked. He would stand on the toilet seat (still does) & watch with fascination as we tried to aim into the bowl & not all over the seat! Of course, once he realised he was doing something we wanted him to do, he reverted to only wanting to do it with daddy, & only at night before his bath!
We let him do just that until I decided “this is silly, he’s 2.5yrs old & I’m…a little older, I need to gain some of the control back from this little monkey!” I may have a few control issues but I managed to control them until that point *yes, I see the irony in that statement!* Cue the sticker chart, in fact we had introduced a chart months before but it had never really taken effect. I made it all
pretty manly & made a big fuss of it, explaining he could chose one when he used the toilet, and ONLY when he used the toilet(or potty if he wanted) It worked for awhile before the novelty wore off!We still hadn’t found his “currency” (courtesy of Dr Phil)
I had been avoiding offering toys/food as rewards until then as I didn’t want to set myself up for being held ransom by a 2 yr old! But, at my whits end with the nonsense, I said to him while out at the shops, IF you go wees you can pick a toy afterwards…BINGO,we had a winner!Back home to make yet another chart…this time 3 rows of 5 circles. The concept, each time you go you get to put a star in 1 of the circles & when you reach 5 you get a Matchbox car. The chart is on the wall right by the toilet, the cars are tantalizingly near by on top of the cistern. It worked like a charm & he would go while we were out without expectations of a reward(still does) .
And then he got smart…he would wee, get a star, then immediately after his pants were back on he would want to wee again. A tiny dribble but I had to give him a star for it. 2 stars for what was essentially 1 wee!! They catch on quick don’t they!?
All has been going well with this system, he still has accidents of course, & the days when he flat out refuses to go but also won’t put a nappy on. Those days I brace myself, hunker down & just get on with it…& I try not leave the house!
Now little Master 1 has caught on to this little “game”, although the details are a tad bit lost on him to say the least. He thinks he can stand on the toilet seat in the nude & just pick a car *grin* I have been known to grab one of the old cars &, as I give Master 2 his new one, I put the older one back into the package to present to Master 1. This all has to be done on the sly in plain sight you understand. Hubby just shakes his head at me. Hey, in my defense,(other than it being a brilliant idea of course) Master 1 will get his turn when it’s time for him to attack toilet training.
And then yesterday, after his nap which he still has a nappy for,Master 2 refused to put on his undies & pants. Not usually a problem but it has been really cold & both boys are just getting over snotty noses so Hubby insisted he wear something. A resounding NO was his answer. Being
stupid resourceful, Hubby replied “if you don’t put undies on the birds will fly in & eat your willy off” Oh geez, my sensitive little man was horrified “NO BIRDS NUMMY NUM” followed by some more teary protests & covering of said willy! I’ve never seen him jump into his undies quite so fast before! It was kind of hilarious actually! I guess we better start a therapy fund about now….