First Aid

Before I begin let me make it clear that I think having a first aid certification is definitely a very good idea, especially if you have kids. But I am NOT judging those who don’t have one, it’s a personal decision & frankly none of my business either way. I thought I’d get that all out of the way in case anyone gets on their high horse about my rant observations.

Yes, it was that time again…first aid re-certification! 4 hours on a weekday night sitting in a room with others, one or two of which would at least would have a cough or other spreadable nasties to share around.   When I walked in I tried to suss out who looked the least contagious! Who had stripped off their winter jacket & was looking healthy, instead of huddled on their chair, scarf wrapped tightly around their neck etc etc I was momentarily distracted from my survey of the room by the mildly hunky ‘facilitator’ who wanted to get my paperwork. After which I had to make my all important seating arrangement decision…done, top of the horseshoe shape of arranged chairs, close to the tea & coffee station & fresher air

Now the reason I despise these things is not because I’m against first aid knowledge, it’s the fact I have to deal with strangers invading my personal space, acting out scenarios & generally having to listen to other peoples experiences with cuts, bangs, bruises & other such drivel!I’m one of those that sits doodling on my handout material, listening but never volunteering unless ABSOLUTELY unavoidable. Probably not an instructors favourite student but I dutifully laugh at all the lame jokes & make eye contact so they know I am actually listening, which I am. I promise! I’m what you call an active listener, I need to be doing something with my hands(taking notes,doodling etc) in order to make the most of what is being said, or I’ll fall asleep right there & then…not a good look I’m guessing. If that isn’t an option I sit wiggling one leg, you know bouncing one leg up & down rapidly…yeah, I’m THAT person haha

And then my fellow participants…there is ALWAYS at least one know-it-all who is very keen for you to be aware of how brilliant they think they are(Who I was sitting next to this time – shoot me!!) Then there are the true beginners who have never been to a first aid course before, you can tell by the rapt attention & slight nervous air about them(2 of them this time). Don’t forget the stupid question asker/s(and the saying “the only stupid question is the one not asked” is a load of phooey,there ARE stupid questions!) Then there are those like me, who just want to get through the whole thing quickly & unscathed. Those who LOVE acting out the scenarios can sometimes be good to have as they usually volunteer so I don’t have to!

Last night was no different. The know-it-all was next to me & after me correcting her on numerous occasions while we were practicing on the manikins she seemed to take the hint SHUT UP…for a short time & then I guess she just couldn’t help herself. But I’ve had worse so I sucked it up & tuned out. The 2 beginners were late!Not a good start in my books ladies, but the traffic was admittedly heavy & if you don’t know the area you won’t know to leave home earlier like yours truly *wink* They were quite funny actually so I forgave them their shaky start.The 2 nursing students were relatively ‘well behaved’, no stupid questions or time wasting stories from them. Although the one had a permanent smirk on her face she was far away enough from me I could ignore it. Then the one with a “horror” story…her kid choked once. I don’t know how many times she managed to bring it up but it was at least 20!No word of a lie, I started counting! The one who liked to act also happened to be the know-it-all so at least there weren’t 2 of them!The stupid question asker was tame this time, only about 4 questions that were ridiculous “what if someone falls off a tractor into quicksand, should you move them if you suspect spinal cord injury” I shit you not, it was a real question!

Thankfully the instructor could tell the majority of us were NOT into play acting so we got away with just doing to CPR etc on the manikins without a song & dance. And he swiftly dealt with the dumb ass questions

Considering all that, it wasn’t as painful as I anticipated. Only a couple of changes from the last time, which simplifies CPR somewhat & an opportunity to practice technique…which hasn’t changed much, if at all really, in the 18 yrs I’ve been doing these things! Hopefully I will never need to actually perform this on anyone but I do know I would be relatively confident & competent if the need arose… 


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