Now, for my South African & American readers I should call this post “mommy brain” instead ,although I do sometimes feel my brain is indeed mummified! As in pulled out through my nose with a hook thingy & discarded! I’m betting you all know what I’m talking about, even if you yourself have yet to experience this affliction I’m sure you’ve witnessed it in a friend or your own mother. Yes,my friends, your own mother because it it something you never fully recover from!
It starts the minute you realise you’re pregnant, or probably beforehand but it’s put down as mere tiredness etc until that life altering moment! It starts with little things like forgetting where you put your keys or forgetting a coffee date to walking, with purpose, into a room only to have no clue as to why (and even how sometimes) you are there! And let’s not forget the time you make yourself a coffee, sit down to browse the internet only to realise when you take your first sip that you didn’t even boil the kettle first. True story!
After baby arrives, this brain affliction is amped up to the next stage…”baby haze”- if it has nothing to do with the baby’s immediate needs or if it’s not a matter of life or death, it gets completely pushed to the deep recesses of the brain, more often than not to be lost forever. Just try and remember anyone’s name now! Even your own! But if someone asks about the baby, well you could recite his whole day in minute detail. Although that could be because the minutes kind of meld into one another and your brain just has a default day it allows you to recite. Now that I think about it, that’s probably what it is!
As you come through that first 6 weeks of haze, you may naively think that you will regain your former self. I pause here to allow myself, and you, a minute to laugh hysterically! Know now that there is now going back, you will forever have “mummy/mommy brain”! Your kids will never be called by their given name the first time round, you will call them their sibling’s name EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. And if there are pets in the house, you will consider it a triumph if you manage not to call the kids by the pets names! There are days when you will even have to ask THEM what their name is. Nothing takes the sting out of a telling off than rambling off a list of names & STILL not getting the right one, followed by a defeated “what’s your name again?” Then the kids are laughing at you, you leave them strangling the dog and slump off to make a coffee, hoping that by the time you get back they would’ve tired of that and moved on to the next activity. Allowing yourself a minute to compose yourself and prepare your arsenal of names for round 2!
Trying to get a full sentence out of your mouth first time also becomes a struggle. Names of everyday items suddenly vanish from your vocab just at the point you need them. Your tongue trips up and you sound like you’ve been hitting the liquor cabinet, all the while being fully aware of what’s happening and not being able to do ANYTHING about the train-wreck that is about to spew forth from your mouth! I can’t count the number of times I’ve been trying to tell Hubby something and he’s had to stop my with a “what the hell are you trying to say?” or “will you spit it out already!” with me exploding “if I could get it out properly don’t you think I would?! I can’t do it, I just can’t do it!! Stop being so mean!” At which point he either bursts out laughing or rolls his eyes, shaking his head with pity. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I’m pretty sure I had a list of other things I wanted to put down here but as I didn’t write it down, I can’t remember *sigh*
Now, I realise I have made light of this but people, this is a thing. AN ACTUAL THING! So next time you find yourself facing a rather flustered, tongue tied mum/mom, smile in understanding and fetch the poor woman a drink!